


love him tender, love him sweet

by 2setterr_2setterr



Category: Twosetviolin, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Casual Sex, Fantasizing, Flash Fic, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, One Shot, Pining, Sexual Fantasy, Short One Shot, Thought Projection, Yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:40:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28397820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2setterr_2setterr/pseuds/2setterr_2setterr
Summary: Brett loves him so, but he knows himself too well to let the words of confession slip through his lips.
Relationships: Eddy Chen/Brett Yang
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	love him tender, love him sweet

Like needle through flesh, the pain wrenches through his tender heart. Guilt slaps stronger than the pain of pining. Now he realizes why he could never name a reason behind the random admirations that he so-confidently claimed. None of them were ever genuine, he thinks now. All of them were there for the mere purpose of hiding a love that cannot be.

He loathes himself for it. It was very bold of him to declare that he’d hold her hand for the rest of their lives when it’s extremely evident that he’s thinking of _him_. Yes, very bold, and very _brutal_. He does not deserve to be loved, not by her, not by _him_ , especially not by _him._

Eddy is the human form of sheer compassion, innocence, and all that’s good with the world, he is. Brett felt guilty for wanting something as pure as that. He knows how many times he’s ruined the likes of him in the form of a thousand hopeless admirers that he used for the mere pleasures of flesh. He was an awful savage, a sadist, almost, crumpling hearts here and there like pieces of scrap paper.

It’s quite ironic, if you think about it—a heart-breaker with a broken heart. It’s laughable, almost. How cliché. And his mere attempt to mend what seems to be irreparable only made the situation worse than it already is. He couldn’t bear it much alone, no siree. Without thinking twice, he dragged another into the inescapable battle field of love and sorrow, while knowing too well that none can survive the straw. No one deserves the wounds of the war he started but him. Now hearts are shattered, solely due to his selfishness, and the evident cowardice, the almost reflexive response of running away and pulling an innocent soul with him on his journey to hell.

In the ocean on people, many have been caught in his charm net as he wore that devilish smirk of his. And with his seemingly irresistible appeal as bait, he pulled the line in, taking all that’s been caught by the tips of his delicate fingers, kept them briefly under warm sheets in a cold night. No matter who it was that he shared a bed with, though, he always had the same name on the tip of his tongue, the same person lingering in his thoughts— _him._

Heated nights were almost a daily thing to him, really. He simply took whoever he can at a given moment. Took them out, shared a drink with them, fucked them senseless till the two in the morning, it’s almost a routine now, actually. He’s not very fond of it, though. Yes, he enjoys the release, but all of it is nothing but detrimental.

He dreams of holding him, not in the way that friends do. He wants _more,_ more than the slight brush of hand over his, their warm embrace, the sensation of his head in the crook of his neck. He wanted to kiss him, dominate over him, call him his own. Oh, don’t even get him started about how much he dreams of holding him down against the velvet sheets, leave him unhinged, undone, hear him scream his name, turn him into a hot moaning mess. But he’d dare not do it. As much as he wants to have him— _fuck him, maybe—_ he doesn’t want to inflict pain on his tender heart.

He loves Eddy to the ends of the universe. He’d dare not hurt him, no way. He’d rather keep on with his never-ending cycle of _touch and go_ , than to sew his heart on his sleeve, lay his soul out into the open. He’d rather leave his heart be tender, leave him sweet, for another to relish in. To Eddy, he’d only be poison; he doesn’t want to fuck him over, no.

For once, he chose not to put himself first. He loves him too much for that.

_I love you too much, you turn my head into a fucked-up mess that it is. But then again, I’d let you fuck me over a billion times, if that means you’d stay._


End file.
